Everlasting Love

So you ever just felt a connection with someone from the first minute you meet them? You just know that this is the person you were meant to find your whole life….Well I found him! He’s a great guy! He’s funny, smart, and handsome. He’s a great father! But all things aside, what happens when Mr. Perfect isn’t so perfect for you anymore? Do you stay and work it out, or leave and hope that you can be amicable for the kids?  This is my current situation….

I thought everything was fine! Turns out he was actually very miserable on the inside and just didn’t know how to tell me. So now it’s day 4 without him; I’m not sure if I’m more hurt, sad, or relieved? Do you really think it’s possible to pick yourself up off the ground this quickly? Especially after you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on? I wonder if subconsciously I needed the same relief? I thought everything was semi-ok….yes we’ve been having a few issues the past year or so but I had no idea it was this bad. I always chalked it up to my psychotic mind! Or meds needing to be adjusted slightly….

Now here I sit, alone and lonely. Trying to be strong for my boys while emotionally I feel so broken! I’ve had my fair share of tears come lately, and ya know what? I’ve realized I’m better and stronger than this! I can do this, he thinks I can’t but surely he will be surprised to see my rock this sheer insanity! I’m a survivor, after all I’ve been through, and I will pick up the pieces and move on. It may take me several months to get back right and stable on my own two feet again, but I promise you one things for sure. You can’t hold down a determined woman, and especially a Mother!

Love has a way of blinding you! It makes it impossible to see all those small imperfections that drive you insane. I am not sure that I wanted this but possibly I needed it. I’m not saying I’m glad he’s gone, in fact I’m more miserable than I have been in a while! You don’t go from living with and loving someone of 5 years to instantly hating them. I can’t even fathom hating him. He’s been the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. But it had become apparent that we just can’t live together. He saved us from the darkest depths of hell!! But alas, a promise that did not mean enough to him and has now shattered me…Promising someone forever is now not a saying that I will ever believe again.

 

So how do you cope after a break-up?

Mad and crying, or rearing to go and ready to move on?

 

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