Fearing Changes

Life has never been more upside down than it is right now. Please bear with me as I attempt to survive this massive upheaval that is called my life! 

My life is changing every minute and I fear the outcome! 

I’m not ready to say goodbye! This is like the end of the world apocalypse in my life right this moment….

I need to figure this out! 

I have to figure this out!

 Love will find a way! Please pray, if you’re the praying type! I need all the strength I can muster right about now?!?!

Thanks for everything yall! 

I will post occasionally until I get this figured out. Until then think of me and please bear with me! 

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Sleepless Nights

So life has grown increasingly difficult these past few days…

I’ve had to swallow my pride and do things I didn’t want to do. But I have to survive this, so here I sit holding my head high! I am more than capable! I will fight with every ounce of my being, and I will get through this. My kids need me!

If you’re the praying kind though, do say a lil prayer for me! It seems I can’t catch a break lately. I think I am going to write my way through this! So hope you don’t mind…

On to other news, my brain is going all kinds of crazy. This increase in meds is not helping yet. I am not sleeping well at all. I’m just not sleepy, or if I do sleep it’s so lightly that I don’t get rested..

So I am functioning suprisingly well all things considered. 

So off I go with our day! 

Hope your day is fantastic!

Dr’s Appointment Adventure

So I made it to the Dr’s! She changed my meds around a bit and we are going to see where I am next month. Hoping this helps, I’m super stressed! The light at the end of the tunnel is even more distant now. 

Onto other news, my Dr seems to think that I don’t have bipolar, yet I have unexplained awake times that last for days. Then I’ll sleep 12 hrs a day to make up for it. Shes calling it major depression, so I just wanna scream.

I’m not sure whether to be sad, happy, or upset. Life has thrown me nothing but curve balls the past few weeks. Im about to start tossing them back. 

So far, I am not gaining any head way.  But I have to keep my head above water somehow. 

So off to brainstorm!

Disaster in the Making

I am not able to get to my Dr’s appointment. This isn’t what I had in mind when I planned this Dr’s appointment. It just sucks and feels like its getting worse and worse. My life is a mess right now, probably going to have to move in the near fututre…

I wished I could just rewind life, and go back to when life was simpler and more fun. Adulthood isn’t all it is cracked up to be. I miss the old days, when I was carefree and not so stressed. I miss who I used to be! Yet I can’t seem to find that person at this moment.    

This is not how I envisioned my year going!

I am not a patient person, especially when my world is crumbling around me! I am not sure how much more I can take…This disaster is getting the better of me at this moment. And I can’t continue living my life this way. Like a tornado came out of left field, and is blowing my whole world to bits and pieces right now. So here I sit pondering where I should go from here.

I can’t imagine my life moving forward right now. I’m stuck in a big rut, and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel….Actually, it feels like it’s growing more and more distant. 

So goodbye for now! 

Finding Happiness

So as I sit here depressed, I’m unable to keep myself busy enough to not dwell on all the drama. So here’s an article on ways to find and be incredibly happy! These are some great tips to focus on when feeling down.

I miss smiling! I miss being happy more than I am stressed. So as I sit here brainstorming to find a solution, I am having a hard time coping. Happiness is something that you make for yourself, yet it’s something I can’t do when I feel like this. 

My kids are what keep me going, not matter what I have to be strong for them. I have to find a solution, but being stuck at home all summer is going to make for a long summer. I can’t get out due to unforseen circumstances.  I am feeling even more defeated than I did the other day.

What is up? I can’t explain, but I know one thing’s for sure. I am not feeling  happy! I am losing interests in things that used to make me incredibly happy. I hope I can get out of this funk soon. It’s not a good feeling! I just can’t seem to find my happiness recently…

My depression is running me ragged at this moment, and my mania is crazy too. I’ve spent money I  shouldn’t have, which sucks but we will manage. We always do! So I am going to stop here, hoping to be back to normal soon. I have a Dr’s appointment in a couple of days. So hope she can help! I hope I can keep my head above water til then. 

Hope you have a spectacular day!