It’s Pure Torture: Why it Chose Me…

I don’t have a clue why it chose me, my mental illness…Guess it thought I was strong enough to endure (and yes, I know and am aware that these types of things don’t choose people). I don’t know why it chose me, I’m not as strong as I would like to be. But strong enough to endure this mess, I guess, and that takes a really strong person. So yeah, in a sense I guess you could say I am strong! 

Strong enough to endure all the trials and tribulations that have led me to this point in my life. Strong enough to endure being an orphan as a child, strong enough to endure the numerous counts of molestation. Strong enough to endure the countless mood swings and the not so fun insecurities of being mentally ill. Strong enough to endure the never ending, non stop roller coaster of emotions that come with my illness. 

 So although I feel weak, there is strength buried deep within…

I just have to push through this moment and overcome! I will overcome all this madness that life likes to throw at me. Doesn’t mean my life’s easy, nothing worth doing is ever easy! I do it so I can be there for all those who need me, mainly my kids and my family.  Without them, I am not sure where I would be. 

I am strong enough! I love my life, and everything that it entails!

Here’s to the strongest people I know, to those who fight the daily struggle to adapt and overcome your own thoughts! Those who get up every day to keep fighting something that so badly makes your want to give up. I’m not one to give up, I may take a step back. But I refuse to let my illness win! 

So here’s why my mental illness chose me. It chose me because I am a person who no matter how hard things get, I won’t quit! It chose me because, ya know what, life throws you lemons sometimes. It chose me because I am a strong enough! It chose me because….I’m not really sure! But I am blessed! No matter how you look at life, remember you are blessed.

So no matter what I think, say, or do….

I am strong and I am enough!