Searching for the Light

I can’t see it yet, the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know it’s there. I am trying my best to stay positive and not dwell on all this drama. But it is most definitely hard! I know I will figure this out, it just sucks right now. So I am trying to stay busy, not working by the way, yet all I want to do is cry! 

I hate the fact that I feel like a failure, although I am most definitely not. It’s my brain playing tricks on me. I hate this feeling!

So here I sit alone again, with nothing but my thoughts. One of the kids is sleeping, and the other is playing with his friends. So I have ample time to sit and think about my life. Where do I go from here? What’s in store for me? I’m not quite sure, but I must keep moving forward. Baby steps!

If only I could convince myself to just let this go….I am not a a patient person, and the stress all this mess is causing is driving me even crazier! My life feels like it’s a teeter totter. One minute things are going well, the next I feel like my feet have been knocked out from underneath me. 

So what do you do when you feel uncertain?

You ride it out and wait for the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s no magical potion that will make this any better, and me dwelling on it is certainly making it worse. I am here though, to weather this storm. Did I mention how bad this sucks?

I feel like I’m moving at snail speed. No matter how hard I try, there’s always that one thing that brings me back down to this madness. 

Ever feel like you’re a burden? Well, that’s how I feel….


Feeling Defeated…

So it’s been bad news after bad news the past 2 days….

I’m hoping I’ve just figured it out but until I hear back, I’m just kinda stuck wondering what’s gonna happen. I hate uncertainty! It brings about all kinds of chaos in my head. Anxiety is in full swing right now…

Hoping and wishing on a star that things will change soon, but until then I’ll sit and worry….Knowing full good and well that it won’t change anything, but this news stuff is a serious game changer here. 

I am left feeling defeated and inadequate. This blows in more ways than one. I am left stuck in a hard spot and am unsure which direction to go. Until things change, I am stuck at home. Which sucks all by itsself, because it’s not like I’m not here enough already as it is.

I know that this is temporary, but why me? 

I thought things were going smoothly for once, and out of left field here this comes. I am beyond stressed so I’ll  leave you with one question…

What’s your one go to stress reliever?