Post Vacation Blues: Why I Hate My Mental Illness

So we have been home for 3 days now, today was back to work day for the fiance. I am struggling with the silence, wishing life had a rewind. I was so ready to come home by Saturday, now I am wishing I had lived up the vacation more.  I kept thinking about all the things I wanted to do, but by the time we got to the last 2 days I was not functioning properly. So not much got done, although we did have a nice cookout the day before we left.

I was also so exhausted, ever tried sleeping somewhere new and not being able to sleep? Well that is exactly what happened. I slept a total of maybe 30 hours while we were gone. That’s like 5 hrs a night!

I was up all night the day before we left so excited to be leaving, and also up all night the night before we left for home. I was extremely excited to get home! Irony at its finest, right! I am so upset that I feel like we missed out on 2 days of our vacation because of me…

I hate having a mental illness! Although it is a common occurrence now, mental illness is still rarely talked about… See the infographic below from NAMI, also go to their website to view the full infographic. Mental illness is still something that takes away even the most insignificant things. It also can become a serious life-changer for those unable to receive treatment…


Image result for mental health infographics for blogs


I feel like I have robbed my entire family of what should’ve been a great time because of my own issues. I feel like a failure for taking away something that was intended to be a joyous time. I feel like I should have been happy, yet I feel like my illness robbed me of my vacation. The incident with the car set me into overdrive, which I think played a big factor into all my emotions while there.

Everyone had a great time though, or so they say!

Now I sit here wishing and wondering what I could’ve done differently! I know in my mind I should be grateful, but how do you let the bad thoughts outweigh the good when everything  seems to have gone so wrong. I guess with all the hustle and bustle over, I am feeling pretty down on myself. Hoping and praying I could feel and get better, but knowing that isn’t possible.

So today I hate my mental illness for making me feel like poo….For making me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. For making me miss out on so many good and wonderful opportunities.

Now if you’d ask my kids and fiance if the vacation was a success, they would all tell you yes. That they had a great time! I don’t know why I let my mind get the better of me when I am sitting in silence. But it happens every time!

So how do I overcome these emotions? Well, it usually takes a finite amount of positive praise for me to feel like everything that I’ve done hasn’t been an epic failure…Thankfully my fiance is great at knowing just what to say to make me feel better!  So as I sit here talking to him via Facebook. I realize that everything was a success and that he is proud of how things turned out.

Sometimes I have to get my own head out of my own head too. This is usually accomplished by an extreme exercise routine or quilting. So as I sit here realizing it isn’t as bad as I think it is, I feel more at ease. This vacation destination was my idea,  now he can’t wait to get to go to his vacation destination.

So how do you overcome negative self-talk and/or emotions?

 

 

Adventures While Vacationing

So today has totally been a serious adventure, our car decided to quit running. Been sitting at the car service center all day, 40 miles away from our hotel. Finally got a rental! Now resting comfortably…

So today is a firm reminder for me that everyday is an adventure! Today could’ve been one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did…..I could’ve sworn today would have ended badly as quick as it went downhill. Luckily we were great planners, and had the ability to have our car repaired. Should be done Thursday, have the rental for up to a week. 

So as bad as I wanted to let this ruin my week. I kept a positive outlook, all things considered this was very difficult, and everything ended well. Yesterday, after our arrival, we enjoyed  a very warm pool at the hotel. And I believe tomorrow is going to be great! We are taking an adventure to a national forest where there’s a natural spring, the water there is a constant 72 degrees. Snorkeling and swimming is on the agenda.  

We totally had a long ride down, luckily the kids slept most of the way. The adults were up for like 40 hours straight. That has seriously affected my mental health these past few days. Sleep will not be a problem for me tonight, no sleeping medicine will be required. I am so happy! Even though today did not go as planned, we made the best of it. To be honest, I am just happy to be running around outside in shorts, and being able to go swimming outside is fun too. 

There were times where the fear of the unknown caused me o want to cancel this vacation, now I am not saying I didn’t want to come. I totally did! But I just hate the feeling and fear of the unkown. Just look what happened today, the unexpected is likely not to occur but obviously can. If you put all of your eggs in one basket, like I have previously done, this could’ve been disastrous!  

Has anyone had anything similar happen while on vacation? 

I’d love to hear your story. 

Adventures and Adversity

So here we are 3 days away from our family vacation….

I’m really excited, yet nervous! We haven’t been on vacation in so long. I’m not sure what or how things are going to play out. Fear of the unknown is a big factor here, I hate not knowing. At least when we are home, I know what to expect. Uncertainties are aplenty at this moment. 

I’m doing laundry now so that the packing can be done. And the adventure we are about to undertake is certainly going to be one for the record books. Even if only in our eyes, we rarely get to go on vacation. So this is something we are all looking forward to, and kinda impatiently waiting….

Adversity and adventures are an everyday factor in life. It is all about how you adapt and overcome. I choose to be happy and roll with the punches. Neither are something that should stop you! “Everyday is an adventure!”, that’s my lifelong motto. 

When you find yourself wondering what tomorrow brings, be grateful for today. Tomorrow is never promised! Love those who love you today, don’t forget a that at any moment everything can change. Choose wisely! Once this minute is gone, it will never be gotten back. Stop and cherish every moment!

Life is a roller-coaster, I am my own roller-coaster! There are plenty of good times to be had. This vacation will be another wonderful, lifelong memory! 

Been on vacation lately?  Did you have a lot of fun? 

Please do share!